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What Would You Do if Someone Is Dying?

I have been in healthcare over 18 years mostly long term care, and helped  hundreds die, I always thought helping a person die was one of the most important things I could do, usually the family would be there as much as they could and when they were not I'd spend as much time with the dying person myself, I'd do things like bring my paperwork in so I could be close and they wouldn't be alone after awhile I realized no one dies alone the last four days I noticed as the person was getting closer to death, they would do things like reach out to towards someone i didn't see they would say things like ....its you...I love you....I never thought .....and they might cry sometimes it was just a murmuring  quiet talking, smiling reaching and once in awhile they even tried to get out of bed  and I saw this behavior hundreds of times ...it happens as a person is dying there is no way such a thing could be faked, I'm sure others in health care have seen this same situation I'm sure that someone comes to take them away and possibly interacts a few days before death ....but this is what I've seen.
What Would You Do if Someone Is Dying? What's your opinion and story.
I Pray For People Who Are Dying

Answers (51)

    • Joanne Zachgo

      My mom had been sedated for a few days before she passed. She had cancer and was in a lot of pain. My son and I were with her when she passed. She opened her eyes but she wasn’t looking at us. Tears ran out the sides of her eyes and she took her last breath. I wonder if she was looking at who came for her. I know it would have been my grandmother but I wonder who else? Her father, brother, aunts and uncles? She’s been gone since 2014 and I still miss her (and talk to her) every day.

    • I was with my Mother-in-law passed away from Cancer and she asked me why are all these people in the room? It was everyone that had passed her husband, mother, etc; I do believe that when you die your love ones come to meet you to take you to the other side. I hope so anyway I want to see my Mom.

      • Ava Michelle

        My father died of cancer but before he passed away he asked my mom why there are so many people wearing white inside the room and he asked my mom to put on his socks when mom asked why he said of course i am going out after that he passed away.

        • Adrian Oporta

          It's true because before my son died he always told he saw his deceased father reaching his hand to him and saw light at the end there is woman wearing white dress inviting him..I cant hold my tears recalling those moments when he is still alive..my consolation is for my son no more pain for him..miss him so much my heart shattered into misses..pls. pray for me and my family thank you

        • Your comment brought tears to my eyes. Sending love to you and your family, and you are correct, he has no more pain, and will be around you always.
          I am so sorry. And I will pray for you all.

          • Rita West

            I totally believe that. I always hear that some of my family members right before they pass call out the names of some who have passed before them,  what a relief to know there is something else after this … energy never dies .. thank God and thank you for being by many peoples sides through their transition, I’m sure they’ll always be grateful. You got a lot of people looking out for you that’s for sure, God bless

            • Susan Collins

              I've been there before! Worked in healthcare for years and saw the same thing. Had one lady tell me that I could not sit in a certain chair because her husband was there to take her "home". She asked that I call her family and ask them to come so she could say good bye for now. I think a few of her kids thought I was crazy, but I did as she asked. Her children came ( they were not allowed to sit in the chair either ), she said good bye to them and that night she died.

              • Axolotl Baby

                100 % correct. I agree it is an honor to be the one that gentle and lovingly escorts them into heaven. You are a special person that God appreciates and depends on you. Thank you. I know it hurts every time but what a blessing you are to them.

                • Kathy Cowser

                  My Aunt  worked as an RN for 40 years and she saw the exact same behavior. She also never wanted anyone to die alone so spent as much time with her dying patients as she could. You are right, my conclusion is that Spirits are there much before the death.

                • Recently, my sweet brother took up residency in Glory. He and I both got CoVid the same day. Being in quarantine and I was very sick and couldn’t get to him.
                  Finally, He answered his phone and said, “Sister, do not worry about me! I’ll be just fine…. Holy Spirit and I have an arrangement “. Twice He repeated it. That night He left for his final destination in Heaven.
                  Although He was physically alone, He was't spiritually.
                  I know He was absolutely escorted personally into heaven.

                • I believe you are exactly correct! Sometimes they say things like: “no not right now!” Or “ not yet, not yet!” Or “ I’m so relieved “, or Thank you yes thank you”, or “I’m so glad you came!”.
                  Regardless, you are exactly right! God bless you for all you done good while living this life.

                • I have a friend who was a nurse for 30 years and she has had so many sacred times like you are describing in this post.
                  I think that it is an honor to be at the bedside during the passing. I totally LOVE that you would do your paperwork sitting at their bedside. So sweet and dear. When we finally pass to the next life, I pray we all have someone there beside us. God Bless you.

                • Yes … I believe they see their loved ones coming to bring them home …
                  My mother passed 10 years ago and she reached for her parents that were coming to get her she would say… I also saw this happen in long term care as well.

                  • Denise Koncz

                    I've worked in care too and have seen patients reaching out in their final days. Also talking to "the ceiling" as if someone is there...often naming a deceased loved one. I've seen spirits gather either side of a dying person, so we are not alone when it's our turn to die. Believing in these things takes away the fear of going through the final stages of life. Much love all.

                  • You are a very special person to help them and thank you for letting us in a secret that we are escorted by a loved one. Very comforting information.

                  • My Grandma owns an assisted living facility and she sits with all her tenants when their families can’t. She tells them not to be afraid cause when God comes and takes your hand you’ll let you go.

                  • I think that it will be my last thing I can do for them before God brings them truly home. Sorry about that.

                    • Anna Magnotta

                      My husband got goose bumps on his arms and a smile on his face right before he took, he took his last breath.
                      After he passed I started working for Hospice, staying with the people in their home until they passed.
                      It helped me with my grieving to be able to continue to help people pass.
                      Some people were completely alone.
                      I'm so grateful for that experience.

                    • My mother was an oncology nurse and she seen this enough time to know patients loved ones in spirit come for them at the end. The exact same reaching out & calling their names. She also said have no doubt what so ever that this is what happens and there’s so much more to this life than we are capable of understanding. My mother told me that it was an honor to witness people passing at the end. I think that is a very unique moment that people should have all by themselves and just pass without interruptions from outsiders. Maybe that's the r4eason why my mom said she most of the times sat and watch it happening.

                      • Yolanda Ulin

                        Bless you, you’re a special person. I don't think so. I think anyone can do it, if its put in front of your. I was in a woman's group, we were going to Hawaii on a retreat. I started talking with a woman She told me she helped people to pass. She worked at hospice. I told her I didn't know how she could do that. I found out when my husband got sick. 
                        That would be one of my dreams; but not to be negative, I have a very controlling husband that does not allow me to have friends or do things for people. Don’t get me wrong; that would just be an excuse. I have helped people and done things for strangers and friends w/o his knowing. I still think you’re very special, many blessings to you.

                      • Couldn't agree more. When my cousin passed, there were signs that the loved ones who had passed were around providing help, love and support to her.
                        When her husband passed the year after, my cousin (his wife) came to him in a dream and said that everything was going to be alright. He passed away soon after.

                        • Jessica Dave

                          I do believe this I have watched them take there last breath it was such a sign of relieve and to know they were being comforted I am not scared of death.

                          • Linda Kutzer

                            Hearing about that is very comforting. Thank you.
                            My sister was a CNA for 10 years.
                            She was with people that passed away.
                            She said she would cry along with the family cause got close to alot of patients . God Bless You.

                          • I asked my Auntie about this post and her answer was " I wholeheartedly agree. Not only have I experienced this as a nurse but with my own mother, grandmother and grandpa. They all talked to deceased family members. My mom even yelled and her mom and step dad "not yet momma and James". My grandpa talked to his deceased brother and I thought he was hallucinating. Now I realize the loved ones come to take them home". That's is a good answer for real.

                          • Yes I'm in the healthcare system I also too have assisted with people dying in hospice and being there to their last breath plus my own family members my grandmother was the first one I understood and I think that's what kept me in healthcare because when their families can't be there we know we can.

                            • Jenny Slate

                              My oldest brother john passed away unexpectedly 05/27/2019, my family is broken just trying to get through, each day is painful and lonely. Our hearts hurt, he was alone, I'm not even sure what happened to my brother, but i know his spirit is with us. I just happened on this app while I was looking at his profile online to be close to him and thank God, I did every one here i think all of us are feeling the same lonely pain but I just want to thank everyone for helping me personally to try to get through this. God Bless everyone and thank you again, we will miss our loved ones forever but they are with us. My prayer to God every time that when my big brother john goes by him please give him a big hug from me, again God Bless everyone.

                              • Gracie Fields

                                My mother worked in health care also for 32 years and she loved palliative care being there in their final days, she felt God put her on this earth to be with those departing. She said also seen reaching out or focusing in the corner of the room and watching the calmness in their face. Yes she truly believe we never go on to our next journey alone.

                              • I totally believe you, as people's lives slowly come to an end, "the veil" to the other side thins and they are aware and may communicate with the spiritual world...No, they're not alone; but what you are doing is heart felt, you are a compassionate person, you are an Earth Angel.
                                The world needs more people like you

                              • When my Grandfather was in his last days on this earth, he would reach up toward the ceiling, as if reaching for someone’s hand. I asked him what he as reaching for and he said, “My people. I have to go and be with my people.” I gave him my approval to go and assured him we, his Grand-kids would be okay. Miss him, but be okay. Hours later he passed! God rest his soul.

                                • Tabitha Scott

                                  My oldest sister first born was unresponsive ( a baby girls), after she fought the nurses with such strength. When they made her leave to put in a catheter, she came out, but was unresponsive. We hadn’t slept in days. I slept on a chair near my new baby niece and my sister. When she awakened 4 hours later, She knew it was God or her baby that woke he up. As soon as she got to her side, the baby girl slips were so dry.. My sister asked for something for her baby girl lips. They gave her a cup of water & a Q tip.  She was wetting her lips, when she started labored breathing. All she and I  could do was yell help! The nurse came right in, She was talking to my sister's girl, she the baby girl opened her eyes, looked up and went to be with God. She was forever broken.. I believe the baby saw our grandma waiting for her…she hadn’t opened her eyes in hours. I stay very close to God on this painful journey & know we’ll be together forever in Heaven…it’s almost seven years and I know I’ll never be whole until we meet in Paradise..God bless you & all who have such an important, loving job such as a hospice nurse.

                                • It’s our angels, guides, & guardians.
                                    They have a job to do as do we .
                                  They help us cross as it’s part of their jobs on the other side & they love helping us.
                                  This is a beautiful story & so amazing to see people truly open their eyes & see the beautiful things that surround us every day, ❤️ love & light to you for being such a beautiful compassionate soul.

                                  • Vikki Frank

                                    This happened to a very dear friend of mine. Her mother was in a nursing home suffering with dementia which had deprived her of speech. She knew that her mum was nearing the end of her life and spent a lot of time with her. The night before she passed my friend had gone to visit and was just sitting in the room with her when all of a sudden (with a huge smile on her face) she sat bolt upright in bed and pointed to someone that she could obviously see. My friend asked her who she was pointing to - not really expecting an answer - when she said ‘You know’
                                    She died peacefully in her sleep a few hours later. Spirit will come and comfort those who are at their end of life and accompany them home.

                                     

                                    • Kristy Hille

                                      My Dad saw his parents up towards the right side. He couldn’t speak but I would ask him who was there & go down a list. He would always tell them no. That was until the night he left as he waited for his first grandchild, my daughter, to come. After about an hour he had a smile as he looked up. , I asked him if it was Grampa & Gramma. He nodded yes with a beautiful smile. As our family were all talking amongst each other, I watched him look up, smile & so beautifully took his last breath. As we all cried & held each other, I knew he was being greeted by everyone who left before. He was whole, he could talk & sing once again & he was with God

                                      • Darcy Carden

                                        I witnessed this with my Grandmother. She sat up in bed put her arms out reaching as to hug someone and said " oh your here. I have missed you so much my love." As hard as it was to see I knew it was my Grandfather who had come to take her. It was very touching. She was smiling and tears were rolling down her cheeks. She passed 4 days later.

                                      • When my Stepmom was in a coma I just couldn't stand to watch her. So I asked my dad to come and get her. It was like he was standing right behind me. He touched me from behind and I heard his voice telling me...." now Katrina, you know how stubborn your mother is. She's not going to come until she's ready!" I said of course! It was very cool to know he was there with us.❤

                                        • Janet Brown

                                          You are a good person. My Grandma was in a nursing home with abusive CNAs who had no compassion for the elderly. I had to leave her there bc I was going to college education and couldn't take care of her. I live with guilt everyday. I loved my Grandma and always appreciated when the CNAs we're kind and caring. They're were only a few.

                                        • I’ve seen this happen professionally and personally, many times over my past 10+ years in healthcare. The peaceful look on their faces says it all.

                                        • I’m so sorry that happened to your Mama. She is now smiling and Happy.

                                          • Nick Williams

                                            I agree 100%. A week ago my brother passed away in our home from cancer, he would randomly shout out "No, not yet Grandpa, not yet"; Our Grandfather was deceased seven years prior and I could feel his strong presence in the room close to my brother!!! There was a strong angelic presence which gave a reassuring, peaceful feeling that was intensely overwhelming though our autistic little sister and I were grieving!!!

                                          • My mother was a Nurse in LTC for about 28yrs and she did a lot of the same things you have done! When my mother told us at home about those stories, I used to think it was sooo sad, then realized they are about to be happier than they have ever been, no longer suffering, and loved beyond anything we know! It then became for my mom such an honor

                                            • Doni Fishback

                                              I love the way you look at dying.
                                              I've held alot of hands of those in that journey. It is truly an honor to be with them as they cross over. My heart melts when I hear of others like yourself doing the same. God bless you.

                                              • Maureen Black

                                                I also worked in health care, 7+ years and I’ve experienced it also even with my mom when she was passing.. they are never alone during the process.. I truly believe that.
                                                 

                                                • Sowmya M

                                                  I really hope my Grandfather is with all his relatives both sides his cousins uncles Nanas Meemees etc I miss him so much. When I heard he had passed all I could feel was he is alone he don’t know where he is I’m sure they were all ready to hug and kiss.

                                                • My Aunt also worked in health care for over 20 years, and she knew what you're talking about. When death is near, their loved ones are there to guide them home. She has seen this go on for as much as a week sometimes, she said. Because of she experienced this, and because of my Aunt told me, I am no longer fear death with no fear ever.

                                                  • Roy Salas

                                                    I totally agree with you, My mom was a hospice nurse and she told my families the same thing...from what she witnessed no one dies alone - whether you are physically present or not.

                                                    • Eddie Brown

                                                      What a beautiful gift you have given by telling people your experience !! Thank you so very much! This has been a time of people grieving not being able to surround loved ones with family and friends as they pass, and to know that their heavenly support group WAS there will be such a comfort. Thank you for posting! 

                                                    • My mother is a CNA With 34 yrs experience, she has seen all you described. She also is  an expert on death and dying, and once she told me that they use their hands " to clear away the cobwebs" to reach their journey. True Story, she said like this: " I once did post mortem care, I turned the lady on her side and the air "whooshed out" where her feeding gastric feeding tube had been disconnected. She whooshing, I screamed, my coworkers came running. I wasn't afraid, just startled. Daddy taught me that the dead won't hurt you, it's the living you got to look out for". I just listen quiet to her words and I felt that I was frozen because that was totally new to me.

                                                      • Lindsay Allen

                                                        I wasn't with my beautiful mother in law when she passed, but my husband was. I knew it was happening suddenly though and I saw the most fabulous thing, I believe it was her husband ( now young from dying before her many years ahead). Came and brought her to heaven. 
                                                        All gold and sparkles and wonderment.
                                                        I am so thankful and happy she's there in heaven. And I know she knows she's loved.

                                                        • Georgia Tech

                                                          Yes I have had the privilege of being with family members as they crossed over, even those who had not spoken in days will speak to the ones who are coming for them. It’s really quite beautiful.❤️

                                                        • I also worked in healthcare for 15+ years as a registered Nurse.
                                                          I agree that You are so correct on everything you said respecting death and people passing away.
                                                          I would always say “It’s mixed blessings being able to be in someone’s end of life stages…they hv ppl from heaven come to greet them as us on earth release them”
                                                          Not everyone is able to do what we do so I consider ourselves.
                                                          “Angels on Earth”

                                                          • Jake Frost

                                                            My father was on his deathbed and couldn't talk for days but pointed upward and said "Bright lights...
                                                            I see the Lord and repeated I see the Lord oh, the Holy Spirit. Then he put his hand down.
                                                            He died a few days later.

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