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How to be a good mum.

If anyone has any advice - I have a 20 year old son who naturally is wanting to become more independent- yet still relying on me to pick him up from shifts - he works in hospitality 5 times per week at 11.00 pm, and frankly feel like an Uber service. He has had a tough time, we have had very strict restrictions in terms of covid which has been particularly tough on young people, at times were only allowed to drive 5- 10 km. How do I balance being supportive and helpful, yet encourage him to move forward. I don’t mind him leaning on me -but if anyone has any idea how to keep balance in terms of supporting but not an over reliance on mum to do everything,I’m all ears. Thank you:)

Answers (11)

    • Heidi Berger

      Just so you know this FACT: you are a very good Mum indeed from what you have mentioned, very loving and supportive. :) Now for my OPINION: It is wonderful that your Son is working and being a responsible young man by working full-time, especially during this Pandemic crisis and chaos when many people are depressed and cannot even function normally. My personal recommendation is to have him pay for all fuel costs and even vehicle maintenance, if need be. Until he is able to afford to buy himself his own vehicle.

        • Julie Furnas

          Encourage him to give back in some way, like assigning tasks for him to do in exchange for the transportaion. Or, have him pay or help pay for the transportation and maybe sometimes he really can use Uber service.

          • Sassy

            Thank you so much for youthr responses, I I’ve taken these response on board, I’m aware that as a single mum I have overcompensated? I guess let him be a little rentitled

            • Sassy

              I’m really do apologise for my lack of typing errors, just as I’m a private person I won’t mention name etc, but he did Jane a troubled time thanfully

              • Sassy

                If anyone had tips how to correct these typing errors I couldn’t hurt niw

                • Jessica Dave

                  There isn't that much you can do with a grown up man that age. Just love him and pray for the best. Good luck

                  • Linda Kutzer

                    It is a little late for trying making a better boy out of your 20 years old son.

                    • Sassy

                      To be honest I get where you are coming from Linda, you can only do so much and then it’s up to them. It’s a fair comment, I’ll take this on board.

                  • Talk to your son and explain that you care and want to help him to be a good man.

                      • Sassy

                        This is extremely important, as frankly some of the relationships I’ve had - well I want him to be responsible and yes - be a good man.

                    • Continue being his mother, and try not to push him too much. I have a brother his age and his doesn't like opinions or suggestions, usually man finds his way out always.
                      Just be his Mom and provide answers to him if he asks, only.

                    • Mothers are beautiful people, they love theor children no matter what they are. That's cute.

                    • Enjoy seen him growing as a man, it takes sometime. Probable he will find his own career path soon and you should hang around there ( wait a little more).

                    • A good mother is the woman who takes care of her babies all her life providing advise and love. You are doing a great job.

                    • I think so. You are a great loving Mum and He should be glad you are His Mom.

                      • Sowmya M

                        I'll say just keep doing good for him, that's mom's job is never done.

                        • Georgia Tech

                          II share your Mom's feelings, it is a very special thing to make sure your kids are always OK, even if they are grown up already.

                        • Keep training and wait till he decides to find a partner and decides to give you Grandchildren and then you will need those moms skills.

                        • I say you are doing very good, just be happy and take care about your boy.

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