Book Of Likes

I just made fried potatoes, pork steaks, and corn on the cob for my Dad. It was just enough. Lunch was leftover chili and grilled cheese. It made me remember something from my childhood that many may find gross or unsafe, but it is what it was. Often people I knew growing up would cook the meal leaving it on the stove. They reheated it to boiling everyday and just ate on it until it was gone. People didn't have huge fridges then so maybe it made sense. I grew up having ate food like this and I'm still here. I don't recommend this now, just remembering how it was.

Me: Lying to people saying “Alright I’m about to go unpack my bag” to get out of when they try to hold me up in conversation about how my trip was when I know good and well my suitcase is gonna sit here for a week. Lol!——Sometimes I like to do things and not have to talk about it after unless I actually want to.

Starting another part time temp job this coming week. I already work a full time job. I did this during the holidays also. I have the money from my side gigs deposited into a different account for emergencies. I do think the temporary route is the way to go so I don’t burn out.

How do you deal with not understanding what people really want from you? I have just discovered that I lost another so-called friend without even realizing that it happened for several months. I know that I did nothing against my principles and did everything I could in the situation that led to this ( it had to to with my job and I'm very careful at following the rules and laws and cannot lie as it feels like physical pain to me), but apparently I was supposed to do something else in that situation and the person has been angry with me for several months now and when I wrote them yesterday because we haven't talked in a while and I wanted to know how they were doing they basically answered something like " Don't ever write to me after what you have done" and called me a bad and selfish person. The thing is, I have no idea what I have done wrong and they are refusing to explain. I'm feeling truly desperate because this is what usually happens in all of my relationships. How do I prevent this? Why don't people want to tell you what you did wrong and just assume bad things about yourself? I feel like an awful person now because I somehow hurt them and don't know how to continue living because I'm scared of this happening again.

I was suffering without the service that day! Then I spend the whole afternoon playing with my kitty cats instead.