Book Of Likes Faces

I am trying to figure out a permanent cure or at least long-lasting treatment for panic attacks and anxiety at night time because I need some sleep! I could not sleep yet again, so instead of spending all night engaged in mindless chit chat, I did some extensive research on my agoraphobia, anxiety and panic attacks. I have been debating starting meds for a few weeks, my anxiety is worse and the only thing keeping me from taking it is my fear of the side effects. The more I researched though, the more I realized that the reason people take medications for most things is the fact that they want a quick fix. People do not want to change their diets, or exercise, or go through anything harsh or stressful, they just want instant gratification. I overcame this once, granted it is worse now, far worse, but I believe with time and exposure, I can get over this and move on with my life. My brain is trained right now to think that everything is a threat, I need to train it to realize that everything is not a threat. The part of the brain that controls our flight or fight response does not listen to reasoning or rational thoughts, it listens to action and assimilation. It makes you run because it does not want to take the chance of something actually being dangerous, so the only thing to do to reprogram this instant flee response and combat the panic is to sit through the panic, expose yourself to it, and train your brain to ignore it as something that is not a threat. My panic is intense, I cannot breathe, or see, or think anything rational, and it is the most terrifying feeling in the world, and I will have to sit through it again and again and again before it goes away. It is either that, or take precription and get head zaps and sleepless nights and all that noise. I never want to depend on anything to help me live my life, only myself. This is the lowest I have ever been in my life and the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I have been homeless, and walked through blizzards to get to work and to the store, I have slept in a freezing house without any elecricity, I have ridden three buses to the hospital gasping for air, thinking I would die from not being able to breathe, I have been so dizzy and so terrified, I could not fathom who or where I was, I have undergone things I never thought I would undergo, dealt with heartache and loss, and nothing scares me as much as this. There is no other choice. The time is now, or never.