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Perfectionism

Growing up I had a strong pressure put on me by my parents and close family to be "perfect". If I got a 95% on a test, the response from my parents was, "Why did you get that question wrong! Rewrite the question you got wrong 5 times with the correct answer and explain to me how you found the correct answer." Never did I get, "Great job!" Or "I am proud of you!" The pressure was not only academic; there was pressure on ME, never doing good enough. A huge boulder I have carried for many years, feeling not smart enough, not funny enough, not pretty enough, etc. I put a huge pressure on myself now to achieve it all. But recently I have learned to let go of that pressure. It was a belief system put on me by my parents that I am not good enough, and now I am able to change that belief system and say, I am enough. I am learning to be content with: Working a job that doesn't pay as well but that I enjoy going to. Not having a college degree. Not investing in products that falsify my natural beauty. Having some debt. Driving a car that is a out dated, Living in a house that has some flaws. Just totally letting go of this idea of trying to prove myself "the best" or " perfect ". And letting go of that burden to have everything figured out. I am letting go of trying to control and force my life, and allowing the universe to work it's magic. 
"I am not perfect. I never will be perfect. There is no such thing as perfect. I am great the way I am, trying to be better everyday. Every moment of life is an opportunity to be better!" I am totally content with living a simple life of being a fit mom. I do not need fancy titles to prove to myself that I am enough. I am enough now!

    • Loren Grays

      Lucky you, because my family never cared about our numbers at school. If i god a low F on my tests, they said, go and try again, never give up, or you will be a loser. So, I kept trying till fix the problem by my own. For getting a college degree was like travelling to the moon, a dream. Finally did get it, so now I'm an artist and no more a student in college.

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