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Funniest Nikki Kessinger texts on the phone between my family lately! 

Me ( Nikki):  I heard Mom got stung today by a a couple of wasps. Is she ok?
My Sister:  She is now, no hospital.
Me:  She had to take the most deep p_nis.
Sis:  Ummm, what?!!
Me:  THEY HAD TO INJECT HER WITH AN EPIC P_NIS!
Sis:  Oh, WTF!!? AN EPI PEN!!!!!!!!!

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My Momma:  Nikki, can u please stop changing the Google logo so often?
Me:  Um, Mom, I don't change those ever...only Google does.
Momma:  You don't run the Google?
Me: Lol, if I did, then I sure wouldn't be driving a 2006 Ford.